COWfessions: Stories From the Barnyard

Growing up on a dairy farm has taught me many things.  One of them being that funny, embarrassing things happen and the best thing you can do is laugh about it.  Life is too short not to laugh!  I asked my Facebook followers to share their crazy farm stories with me and now I share them with you.  Do you have a funny farm story? Please share it!

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“When we were still milking in our tie stall barn, my sister-in-law and a friend were over chatting with me when I was milking. I have a space between my front teeth. I went to say something at the same time the cow I was squatting next to hit me in the face with her tail and a dingleberry on her switch got stuck between my front teeth! Needless to say…I have a great immune system :-)”
-Kris, NY dairy farmer


As a kid, nothing was quite as funny as seeing my dad get kicked in the balls.”

  -Dirk, WI business owner


“I was feeding calves and pigs a few weeks ago and things were hectic, we were chopping corn and I was in a hurry to get back to scrape the barn and get the next group of cows for the milker. I was carrying a full bucket of milk for the pigs and tripped on a root. I fell, landed on my forehead and my wrist. Now I’m on my knees and laughing and crying. I have a very sensitive vagus nerve and tend to get light-headed and nauseous when I get suddenly hurt so I was staying down till I got my bearings. My partner in crime looks back, not realizing I had hurt myself, and asks me (while holding back her laughter) if I was crying over the spilt milk or had I gotten hurt? We still break out laughing when retelling the story!”
-Corinne, NY dairy farmer


“We were out doing calf chores and I caught my daughter, Taylor, letting a calf lick her stomach. She was totally oblivious to the fact I took her picture because she had her shirt over her head.”

lick

-Macy, WI dairy farmer


“When I was a little kid, we had a bull named Lucky.  I would be out in the woods and Lucky would see me, take off running and bucking his head toward me. He would stop right in front of me and want me to scratch, rub, and play with his head.  He did this to my dad once and later that day he was gone. I was sad and told dad he just wanted to play, we do it all the time. Lucky wasn’t so lucky after all.”
Chris, WI dairy farmer


“I was feeding calves at a small dairy during college and  was normally in and out within two hours, so having to use the bathroom was never much of an issue. Well, one day I had to pee and I was not even close to done with my chores. I didn’t feel comfortable going into their house to use the bathroom, so I  decided to pee in a pen, which I certainly had done before, except this time  one of their sons walked in the barn and kept calling for me to see if I needed help.  It was not easy getting my jeans and  bibs up without him noticing… just a little awkward!!!!!”

-Angela, WI nurse


“My brother’s heifer would mount him whenever he bent over.  I am certain it was her way of hugging him back.”.
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-Jillian, WI dairy farmer

“I was training a heifer to lead for the show season.  She was a heifer that spooked easily, but didn’t cause me too many problems, up to this point.  I was leading her around the yard by a rope halter and everything was going fine.  I don’t recall what spooked her, but the heifer all of a sudden took off, running like a bat out of hell.  Well, you know the saying “Never let go of the rope”?  That is what I was trying to do…not let go of the rope!  So this heifer is running and I am keeping up until she meets the footbath that lays right in front of the barn door. The heifer suddenly stops, takes a flying leap over the footbath and jumps into the barn; meanwhile, I am still holding on to the rope! When she jumped, I was jerked  forward and I took a nose dive into the FULL foot bath.  At that point, the heifer got away from me and was running around the barn.  I turn around (while still in the footbath, mind you) and my dad, who watched this whole thing, says “Well, go get up and get her!”  And so I did!”
Ashley, WI dairy farmer

 “I was “cow sitting” for two wonderful fair heifers. Being a city girl turned ag student, I was fairly familiar with how to act around animals and what to expect. What I was not prepared for was a crazy jersey that came into heat during my care. I started piecing it together after hearing some awesome bellaring at night. However, the next day solidified it when I went out to feed them and the Jersey decided to mount me. Nothing says hands-on learning like being taken to the ground by a hormonal teenage heifer. Let’s just say it now makes a great story to tell my students about heat detection.”
-Kellie, WI teacher

 “I once witnessed my dad give mouth-to-mouth CPR to a dying calf. It lived.”
-Gena, MN student

 “As a nine-year-old 4-H’er, my grandpa had picked out a special calf from his herd for me to bring home to our farm. After chores that night, it was time for our very first leading lesson. It was going well until the calf took off, and I tripped. I did my best, holding on the the rope and remembering “NEVER LET GO!” That is, until the calf came to the bench in our front yard. She sailed over it, but I wasn’t so lucky.  Fortunately, it didn’t dampen my love of showing, even though that girl didn’t make it to the fair that year!”
-Heather, Iowa dairy farmer

“This was in the office at a dairy I worked at.  A cow got out of a pen and managed to open the door of the office and the fridge. Never found out how good her DC-305 skills were as new employee!”
cow
-Wiebe, WI dairy farmer

“Forty-five years ago we had a lot to the west of our barn containing steers. As it sometimes happens, we had a sick steer out there that needed some attention. Well, Mom and I follow Dad, who is carrying a lasso out into the lot to where the steer was laying. We wanted to get him into the barn to separate it from the others and to treat him. We walk up to the steer and he does not move. Dad slips the lasso around his neck so we can lead it to the barn. Dad gives a little tug on the rope, the steer launches to his feet at about 15 or 20 mile an hour, Dad grabs hold of the rope. Dad becomes one of the fastest distance runners on record hanging on to this rope, attached to a steer which is now running at full speed.  After the first lap, the steer and Dad pass Mom and I, who have now turned into spectators, “Grab the end of the rope!” dad hollers. I am thinking, “Yeah, Right”. By the time Steer and Dad made the second lap around it was, “What the Hell you guys laughing at, grab the rope.” Mom and I were in hysterics watching this steer tow this large man behind.  Suddenly the steer turns around and knocks Dad on his back and proceeds to put a hoof just outside the four corners of the imaginary box that my Dad is now in and does this dance with his head down looking between its legs, mud and manure flying from all four, but never so much as touched my Dad.”
Oh, Dad let go of the rope….
Tregan, Nebraska beef farmer

When me and my brother(Ben) were young, every Saturday morning we would go down to our neighbor’s (Todd) dairy farm and do chores. Well, this Saturday wasn’t any ordinary one! Todd and I were waiting for the feed cart to fill and Ben was cleaning the mangers.  Todd and I were standing there and all of a sudden he yelled, “Behind you!”. I  turned around and saw a big rat crawling on the extension cords! I jumped out of the way as Todd whacked it with a broom! It fell down and ran through a crack in the wall! We ran around to the other side where Ben was sweeping the mangers. He asked, “what are you doing?”. We told him there’s a rat under the hay bale! As Ben grabbed a cat and Todd with a broom they told me to pull the bale away! I decided well why not! So I pulled half the bale away and jumped back! The rat started to run down the walk-way with Ben and Todd in hot pursuit! As the rat made a U-turn, Ben stopped and Todd collided with him! In all the mix up somehow Todd got in front of the rat as I turned to grab a shovel as a weapon! The rat ran at Todd and went up his leg inside his jeans. He started shaking his leg! With a big kick he got it out as it flew through the air and hit me right on my back pocket! As it held on for dear life I was jumping and shaking trying to get it off! Eventually it fell off  and was hit with the broom! It felt like an hour long scenario,  but was likely only a few seconds!
-Luke, WI student
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9 thoughts on “COWfessions: Stories From the Barnyard

  1. I have a funny story to add….
    Just the other night, I was listening to the Coyotes howl at about 1 o’clock in the morning. My two dogs sleep in my room and all of a sudden they started going wild and barking out the window. I could hear something walking through the leaves right out my window and all I can think about was that there was a coyote right next to my window. By the sounds of the leaves, it sounded like something really big walking through… I’m starting to panic now (yes, I am a scaredy cat) and I woke my boyfriend up to see what was outside and as soon as he opened his eyes… BOO!!!! There’s a cow looking right into my window, clear as day. The funny part is, my boyfriend who is still half asleep, goes to grab the gun not realizing it was a cow and jumped out of bed like he was ready to fight a monster. After I told him it was a cow, he woken up a bit and realized. I couldn’t stop laughing at his reaction all night. We then found out, a group of cows had gotten out and was running around our yard.

  2. So, in general this was amazing. I still think Dirk’s was the best. When your dad gets kicked in the balls and he’s so mad. You’re trying not to laugh out loud or pee your pants or start to cry from laughing so hard. Nothing better than that.

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